Akatsuki on vacation
by Yumi loves the darkness
Summary: Pein decides to take everyone on vacation.hmm....i can smell chaos all over it... will they survive...? Rated T for Hidan being... Hidan. no parings
1. Chapter 1

Me: Hi everyone

Me: Hi everyone!! What's up!? (Jumps up and down)

Itachi: What are you so happy about…?

Me: I don't know….

Itachi: (Sweat drop)

Me: Anyways do the disclaimer WEASEL!!

Itachi: (Glares) (Sighs) fine…. Kimi doesn't own Naruto…or any of us… thank god….

(Hidan walks in)

Hidan: It's Jashin….

Me: I DON"T CARE!!

"Everyone gather round!! Tobi turn your leapfrog note pad off, Itachi shut your book, Kisame turn off "Finding Nemo, Kakuzu stop counting your money, Deidara don't blow up the bathroom, Hidan stop cutting your self, Sasori….um…don't turn that squirrel into a puppet….Zetsu! Don't eat the mailman!! Anyways we are going to have a family meeting!!(LOL family meeting….)" the all "great" Pein said.

"But Leader-sama!! Tobi is learning about the letter "r" and the sound it makes!!" Tobi yelled out.

"I don't care!!" Pein yelled back." Alright everyone I have a surprise for everyone!!"

"More money?" Kakuzu asked.

"No."

"Contacts...?"Itachi asked hopefully.

"No. But I'll get back to you on that."

"Toys!!"

"No Tobi."

"We are getting rid of Tobi?"

"No sorry Deidara."

"A pool?" Kisame asked.

"No."

"Everyone turned into Jashinist!!"

"No Hidan…No..."

"Pepto Bismol…?"

"Zetsu I'm not going to ask, but no…."

Pein turned to Sasori.

"I don't need anything…" Sasori said.

"Sorry… force of habit…"Pein answered.

"If it's none of those things then what is it?" Deidara said.

Pein smirked at him. "We are going on vacation!!"

"VACATION!? YAY!! TOBI IS SO HAPPY!!"

"Yes we are going to…….HAWAII!!" Pein yelled out.

"Hawaii...? That's better than a pool!!" Kisame said. He ran to his to, I guess pack….

"….But why Hawaii?" Itachi asked.

"Because in Hawaii we are not wanted." Pein explained.

"Oh…" Itachi responded.

"So everyone go pack! We leave tomorrow morning!" Pein exclaimed.

To be continued……

Me: WOW!! I wonder what is going to happen next!!

Itachi: You should know…. You wrote it

Me:true… oh well… I'll think of something….(thinking)

Itachi:……idiot….

Me: (still thinking)

Itachi: (thinking) Is she actually using her brain…..?

Me: (still thinking)….. AH EUREKA!!

Itachi: What!? You thought of something!?

Me: Yeah!! I remembered that my cousin owes me 5 bucks!!

Itachi: (falls anime style)

Me: anyways thanks for reading my fanfic!! I'll update soon!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Kimi: HEY EVERYONE!!!!!!!......**

**Itachi:….hey…..(sighs) Where have u been all this time?**

**Kimi:…..um….places?**

**Tobi: (walks in) (sees Kimi) KIMI!!!!!**

**Kimi: huh? TOBI!!!!!**

**(Both running through a field of flowers and embrace with tears running down their eyes)**

**Itachi:….oi….(sighs)…Kimi does not own Naruto or us….and thank God for that…**

**Hidan: (pops up randomly) JASHIN!!!!!**

**Kimi and Tobi: (still embracing and crying)**

"HAWAII, HAWAII, HAWAII HERE WE COME!!!!! LA LA LA!!!!!"

"TOBI SHUT THE FUCK UP UN!!!!!!!" Deidara yelled at Tobi and hit him on the head. He was not in a good mood. 1. Because it was a Monday morning 2. Tobi was an idiot and 3. Adam Lambert didn't win on American idol. He was so pissed when Kris won and everyone made sure to keep way from Deidara's sour mood. Well…..except Hidan.

"Lord Jashin Deidara….calm down sour puss!" Hidan slapped Deidara on the back and laughed. "Today we are going to HAWAII!!!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!! LORD JASHIN, YOU HAVE ANSWERED MY PRAYER!!!!!!"

Deidara's vein popped. "GOD DAMNIT HIDAN!!!!!!!!" he screamed at the albino who was grinning.

"Hidan, Deidara is just mad because Adam didn't win," Kisame explained to Hidan walking in the living room holding 8 luggage bags.

"Geez Kisame…..we are only going on a 2 week vacation, not 2 months," Sasori said rolling his eyes looking at Kisame's bags.

"You can never be too sure." Kisame once again explained.

"Owie…….that hurt Deidara-senpai……" a voice below them mumbled loudly.

"um…Tobi? What are you doing down there?" Kisame asked the pumpkin masked boy helping him up.

"Deidara-senpai's blind rage got the better of Tobi…" Tobi responded dusting off his cloak.

"Ah….speaking of blind…..Where is Itachi?" Hidan asked looking around for the semi blind weasel. He heard Kisame sigh.

"Um….like Deidara…he's bummed about Adam not winning…"

"……..wow……."

"Hey what is everyone doing here?** Yeah. Everyone better be flipping ready. Bunch of retards" **Zetsu said coming through the floor.

Suddenly they heard the loud speaker calling them to come to Pein's office. "Everyone, please meet me at my office as I explain the rules and give you information to head on to our vacation…..which I really need…. Thank you," Pein said. "Aw Konan…but I really wanted to bring my Beanie Babies collection," he slipped out without turning off the loud speaker."And I really wanted to bring my Care bear videos…."

Everyone stood still with confused looks on their faces. **(A/N: NOT HARD TO IMAGINE THAT!!! XD) **Finally it turned off and everyone's confused faces were cracking up.

"I-I-I'm n-n-not g-go-onna ask un!!"

"L-l-eader-sama l-l-ikes BEANIE BABIES!!!!! OH JASHIN!!!! That is good black mail!!!!"

"I-I n-n-ever expected that!!!" Kisame laughed out.

Zetsu and Tobi nodded as they were also laughing. They all walked towards Pein's office laughing as Hidan opened the office door. They all walked in with laughter still in full effect.

Pein's lost his patience from watching his henchmen laugh at what he thought nothing. "WHAT ARE YOU GUYS LAUGHING AT!!!!!"

They stopped laughing for a moment but as soon as they saw Pein they remembered of the incident earlier and started laughing harder.

"WHAT!!!!!????" Pein screamed impatiently.

They calmed down and took deep breaths. "Sorry Leader-sama…..um….Deidara told us um…." Sasori turned to the others for help.

He told us a joke Leader-sama," Hidan explained.

Pein raised an eyebrow but smiled."Really? Oh! Can I hear it?"he asked eagerly.

"Um….."Hidan said. "Yeah Deidara….tell us the joke again…."

Deidara's face paled."Well um…..it wasn't that funny….un…"

"Are you sure about that? All six of you thought it was pretty funny." Pein answered folding his arms.

"Um…well ok….um….What did the dinosaur say to the dog?"Deidara asked with the same pale look on his face.

"What did he say?! What did he say!?" Pein asked with an excited look.

"He….um…" Deidara started but paused to think of something, "Um….he didn't because he's um dead!"

Pein stared at him while the others smacked their foreheads but jumped when they heard Pein laughing loudly. "Oh MY GOD!!! I GET IT!!!! The dino is dead so he can't talk!!!! THAT"S GENIUS DEIDARA!!!!!"

The others laughed nervously. "Um…yeah….that was hilarious….." Hidan said.

"Yeah….hilarious…." Kisame said staring at his leader that was still laughing.

But Pein quickly regained his composure and took a deep breath. "Alright you bunch of monkeys Kakuzu should be getting back anytime now with the tickets. And so-Hey where is Itachi?"

"…..Here……."

"WOAH!!!!!!!! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM UN!!!!????" Deidara screamed jumping in Sasori's arms.

Itachi, who was standing behind Kisame, glared at Deidara but quickly informed Pein that he was present. "What did I miss?"

" A lot."Zetsu informed Itachi.

"Ah… I see…."

"Anyways where was I? Ah yes. Like I said yesterday, we are going to Hawaii and will be leaving just as soon as Kakuzu gets here with our tickets, Konan is right now reserving us our rooms in our hotel. Now I must lay out a few rules. 1. We are really hiding, but just in a relaxing way so we must look and act as normal as possible, 2. No hurting or killing normal people, 3. No running off, 4. DO NOT GET CAUGHT!, and 5. HAVE FUN!!!!!"

"ALRIGHT(UN)!!!!!" They all yelled out. They could not wait until Kakuzu came back with their tickets to a glorious paradise.

**Kimi: So that's the second chappy!!! Sorry it took forever to update!!! I just ran out of ideas but I am back!! I also have to update my other story!!!! Please forgive my absence!! **

**Tobi: TOBI FORGIVES YOU!!!!!!! **

**Kimi: Of course ****you ****do. But not everyone forgive everyone! I do not deserve to be forgiven!!!!**

**But this is the best I can do to win your hearts again!! XD**

_**Please review!!! I would very much appreciate it to give me courage to continue!!!!!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Kimi: I'm back!!!!!!**

**Itachi: (sarcastically) hooray……..**

**Kimi: I know right!**

**Itachi: Oi…….**

**Tobi: (walks in) Kimi-chan!!!!! Can Tobi do the disclamer?!**

**Kimi: Please do!**

**Tobi: YAY!!!!! (clears throat) Kimi-chan does not own Naruto or anything to do with that show.**

**Kimi: The manga has gotten really complex…..I mean Danzo wants to kill Sasuke…..and Naruto being Naruto is….**

**Itachi; (covers mouth) Now now those are spoilers. Hush……**

**Kimi: Ok…….**

Kakuzu arrived 15 minutes after the meeting they had. He walked in to find himself being glomped by Tobi and the others around him waiting anxiously to get out of this place.

"YAY YAY!!!! Kakuzu-san is back with the tickets!!!!!!!!" he exclaimed happily.

"YES!!!!!!" A female voice behind Tobi yelled out. Everyone turned around to find Konan with luggage in her hands and sunglasses on her head. She was ready to go and sleep under the sun.

"Ok, ok everyone calm down now these tickets weren't cheap so calm down," Pein said looking around at the excited members. None of them were paying attention and just continued to talk about what they going to do when they got to Hawaii. Pein sweatdropped and his vein popped anime style. "HEY YOU BUNCH OF MONKEYS!!!! BE QUIET!!!!!!"

The whole room stood still as they looked at their pissed off leader.

"Thank you….." Pein said sighing as he rubbed his temples. "Now when we get go the airport, I want everyone to stick TOGETHER! _TOGETHER _being the key word!" he started staring at Hidan and Deidara "I don't it to be like last year when you thought it would be funny if Tobi took the wrong plane to the North Pole to look for Santa…………..and we had to cancel everything just to look for him."

"Yeah like my massages and my day at the SPA!!!" Konan implied.

Hidan and Deidara laughed mervously. "Sorry Leader-sama(un)"

"Ok now, I hope everyone has everything they need and Kakuzu has the tickets right?"

Kakuzu nodded.

"Alrighty, everyone to the AKATSUKI MOBILE!!!!!!!!!!" Pein yelled out striking a strange familiar hero pose. Everyone stared at him strangely as cricket in the background played. Itachi coughed. "Um….yes well……."

"Akwaaaard……." Sasori mumbled quietly.

"Alright everyone in the van….please…" Pein said blushing.

"Weirdoooo…." Kisame whispered to his partner. The Uchiha agreed silently.

"WHO SAID THAT!!!??" Pein yelled out looking at his henchmen. "WAS IT YOU CAPTAIN PLANET!!!???" he said pointing at Kisame.

"Um…no sir……" Kisame retorted at his Leader.

"…….Well ok then……I must have been hearing things…….."

"…..Yes you must have……."

"Right………um…….dumb hearing aids….."

"Yeah…….."

"I need some new ones…but you know……the bad economy and…Kakuzu….."

"Yeah……that sucks…..it happens to me too…..

"Really? You too? Wow………bad times these days have been…."

"And yet we have money for a vacation….."

"Yup…………..that just does not make sense………"

"………Yeah……."

"yeah……."

"Ok, If you two ladies are done talking about your problems, I want to get to Hawaii now…." Konan interrupted.

"Um yes! Ok everybody in!!!!" Pein exclaimed.

"SHOTGUN(Un)!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Almost everyone yelled out.

"God………"

**Kimi: LOL Anyways, that's that chapter! I hope everyone liked it!!! ^___^**

**Pein: What? I didn't hear you…..**

**Kimi:…..I wasn't talking to you……**

**Pein: What?**

**Kimi: I said I wasn't talking to you……**

**Pein I can't hear you…..**

**Kimi:*sighs* Please review and I should get a new chapter by next week!**

**Pein: I do not reek!!**

**Kimi: Oi………**


	4. MJ tribute

Kimi: I'M BACK!!!!!!! Again…….

Hidan: Oh Jashin why? Fucking stupid girl…….

Kimi: Because my fans have demanded it!

Hidan: What fans?

Kimi:……..the magical invisible ones…………and the pretty flying unicorns…….

Hidan:*stares at Kimi like she is crazy*(Because she is) What the fuck?

Kimi: What?

Hidan: *sighs* Kimi does not own Naruto or me or the Akatsuki………..nor will she fucking EVER!!!!

Kimi: Why must you hurt me like that?

Hidan: *shrugs*

The Tokyo Airport was just 4 hours away and our favorite criminal organization were enjoying their car trip to the airport. Sadly, Konan got shotgun since Pein shoved the rest in the back. But everyone turned happy when Pein but on their favorite car songs.

"B-I-N-G-O!!!!!! B-I-N-G-O!!! B-I-N-G-O!!! and Bingo was his name-o!!!!"They all sang with happy tones and excited faces. But I think Tobi was the most excited of all. The song ended and Pein changed the station only to hear one of his favorite songs starting and yelled out.

The others recognized it and also yelled out with great enthusiasm. Even Itachi, Sasori, and Kakuzu.

Pein started with: _She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene  
I said don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one  
Who will dance on the floor in the round  
She said I am the one who will dance on the floor in the round_

Then Konan: _She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene  
Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one  
Who will dance on the floor in the round_

Kisame, Itachi, Tobi, Hidan and Deidara joined in with them: _People always told me be careful of what you do  
And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts  
And mother always told me be careful of who you love  
And be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth_

By this time everyone joined in:_ Billie Jean is not my lover  
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one_  
_But the kid is not my son  
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son_

_For forty days and forty nights  
The law was on her side  
But who can stand when she's in demand  
Her schemes and plans  
'Cause we danced on the floor in the round  
So take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice  
(do think twice)_

_She told my baby we'd danced 'till three  
Then she looked at me  
Then showed a photo my baby cried  
His eyes looked like mine  
Go on dance on the floor in the round, baby_

_People always told me be careful of what you do  
And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts  
She came and stood right by me  
Then the smell of sweet perfume  
This happened much too soon  
She called me to her room_

_Billie Jean is not my lover  
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one  
But the kid is not my son  
Billie Jean is not my lover  
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one  
But the kid is not my son  
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son  
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son  
Billie Jean is not my lover  
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one  
But the kid is not my son  
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son  
She says I am the one, she says he is my son  
She says I am the one  
Billie Jean is not my lover  
Billie Jean is not my lover  
Billie Jean is not my lover  
Billie Jean is not my lover  
Billie Jean is not my lover  
Billie Jean is not my lover_

The song ended and everyone cheered on to Michael Jackson's song.

"I fucking love that song!!!!!" Hidan exclaimed high 5ing Kisame and Deidara, who agreed.

"That song is a legend….." Sasori said smiling slightly.

"Yes it is. My fav Michael Jackson is…….**Black** and White. **Yes definitely! That song is fucking awesome!!!!" **Zetsu(s?) yelled out as Hidan also high fived him.

"I just can't believe MJ is gone you know un," Deidara said sadly.

Everyone nodded sadly. They knew that although MJ was not the best at his lawsuits and his similar appearance to Pedomaru- I mean Orochimaru, to them MJ was one of the best artists in the world.

"Hey how about another one, eh Pein? Konan elbowed Pein.

Pein smiled as he put on his favorite CD album of MJ. Actually everyone's favorite album. Thriller.

Through the whole trip everyone just dedicated themselves to singing MJ songs and laughing and crying about one of their favorite pop singer.

They all sighed and said together "R.I.P King of Pop R.I.P"

**Kimi: T______T MJ IS DEAD!!!!!**** I was so sad that I had to write this chapter. And also Billie Jean was my favorite song from him. I do not own Billie Jean or Michael Jackson. I send my love to his family members and close friends as well as his fans. We will miss you MJ. R.I.P**

**I'm sorry but I had to do this. I love that song and I imagined the Akatsuki singing this song and decided to write it. Please I do not mean to offend anyone or make any one mad or anything. I wrote this chapter really fast and liked how it came out actually. God damn…This song is soooo catchy. I've been listening to it all day(as well as other MJ songs) If u don't like MJ, it's ok, I'm not going to judge you because of that and I hope you liked this chapter. Please review so I can continue.**

**Itachi: ****Billie Jean is not my lover  
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one  
But the kid is not my son  
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son!!!**

**Kimi:………… Billie Jean is not my lover  
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one  
But the kid is not my son  
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son!!!!**

**Itachi and Kimi: (both sing the song together)**


End file.
